bigger.
I got dressed this morning feeling like I always do. (“You look like shit, but damn girl, you dress cute.”) I had almost forgot the text I received from Brad (I will always use fake names, btw) last night about how he loves lingerie on ‘bigger girls.’
I mean, I’m not dumb. I know what I look like and I know I’m not small but that was such an awful word. Let me also clarify that no, we were not having phone sex or not talking about anything really lingerie-related (get your minds out of the gutter). We were just chatting about being tired, which led to PJs then that text-o-doom came. I wasn’t even really offended, because I have been called fat enough times in my life to know that he did not mean that. Then, I’m reading this book called Good In Bed (which is FAB) and it’s about a girl whose bf decides to go all rogue and write this article in a big-time fashion mag called ‘Loving a Larger Woman.’ To top it off, I log-on to one of my favorite sites (postsecret.com) and find a postcard with a pic of Barbie that says ‘I don’t want to lower my standards because I’m overweight.’ It’s like someone is screaming at me to go to the gym or something (I did bring 5-days-worth of workout attire to Stillwater. I’ll update you if and when I actually put it to use).
I can’t help but think, do I really want to like someone who seems to like me BECAUSE I’m more-to-love size? I mean, in all honesty, I don’t want to look like this forever, but I’m clearly not doing much to change it as of late.
Filed under: Less of me | Leave a Comment
Tags: dating, fat, gaining weight
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